


Broken

by Aislashu



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Anger, Attempted Sexual Assault, Child Death, Children of Earth Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aislashu/pseuds/Aislashu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Harkness was really hating himself for what he had to do to save the planet. If there had been any time he needed the Doctor, it was then. When the Doctor appears, Jack breaks and his rage lets loose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of Jack redemption fic. It was actually going to go in an entirely different direction than it did, with Jack really letting loose on the Eleventh Doctor and Rory, but as it happened it changed. So what was originally planned never actually went through. 
> 
> This is basically a fic to try and redeem Jack in my own eyes, as I really, really despised him after Children of Earth. Hope you enjoy the fic!

    Captain Jack Harkness could only stare at the rubble that had once been Torchwood HQ. Rubble that had essentially been caused by him, a bomb planted in his body. His hands were buried in the pockets of his coat, clenched into tight fists. He had shed so many tears during these past few days...weeks?...that they wouldn't come now.   
  
He couldn't recall how long it had been. Hours felt like days and days had dragged on like weeks. His daughter would no longer talk to him. Steven had meant the world to her. It had torn him apart, completely shattered him having to do what he did. He had lost so many already...to lose Steven, his grandson...and to have done it himself....  
  
His introspection and bad memories were interrupted by a very familiar sound. A sound that under normal circumstances would have elated him. Circumstances were no longer normal. They ceased to be normal when the 456 showed up again and made things hell. They ceased to be normal when he lost Toshiko. Owen. Ianto. Steven. Where had HE been? When Jack had needed him most, where?   
  
Darkened eyes turned to the blue box fading into shape. Nostrils flared a bit, hands clenching tighter in his pockets. He began to stalk closer when the door opened and out stepped a man he didn't recognize but instantly knew. Another new face...but the same Doctor.   
  
And he was laughing. All gangly limbs and big smiles.   
  
Laughing.  
  
Jack didn't remember taking those last running steps to close the distance between himself and this new Doctor. The next thing he knew he was face to face with the Doctor, hand around the man's skinny neck, the new Doctor slammed up against the outside of the TARDIS. Jack's lips were curled up into a snarl.  
  
"DOCTOR!" came the shocked voice of Amy Pond as she rushed out of the TARDIS.  
  
Jack's free hand moved into his coat swiftly, withdrawing his pistol and aiming it dead-center to Amy's head, his own turning slowly to lock cold, dark eyes onto hers.  
  
"One step....just one fucking more step and I will kill you where you stand...."  
  
Amy's eyes were wide. The Doctor was gasping for breath, long fingers wrapped around Jack's wrist as he squirmed in the other man's grasp.   
  
"Amy...." he gasped, "go...go back into the TARDIS..."  
  
"No," Jack's voice cut across the Doctor's. "Walk away. Run."  
  
Amy looked between this man she didn't know and the Doctor she did, her eyes wide with shock. The Doctor turned his gaze to Amy best he could and nodded his head, fearing for her safety.   
  
"Go..." he commanded her best he could.   
  
Amy swallowed hard, looking to the Doctor, then to the gun aimed right between her eyes. She saw the man's fingers tighten on the trigger and did as she was told. She turned and ran. Jack let out a dark little laugh, half tempted to shoot her in the back, just to make the Doctor watch her die, as he had watched his own people die.   
  
The temptation passed, and Jack's head turned, eyes locked onto this new Doctor's face, the barrel of the pistol turning with Jack's head. Fingers tightened around the scrawny neck under his hand, elliciting a shocked gasp for air. He brushed the pistol over the Doctor's temple, drawing it down the man's cheek slowly. He felt the Doctor tremble, just briefly, under his grasp.  
  
"Jack...."  
  
Jack swiftly struck the Doctor on the temple with the butt of the pistol, cutting off any further words. He jerked the man away from the Tardis and twisted around, pulling the Doctor with him before he shoved the man through the still-open door of the TARDIS. Jack was right behind him, watching the Doctor stumble to the floor and slide across it a bit before catching himself. Jack reached behind him and shut the door, deadlocking it so the little redheaded bitch couldn't get back in to try and save the day.   
  
"I needed you."   
  
The Doctor struggled to his hands and knees slowly, still trying to recover from the shock of Jack's assault. Jack moved in and kicked the Doctor hard as he could in the ribs, causing the other man to cry out in pain and sending him across the floor, coming to rest against the base of the control console.   
  
"I NEEDED YOU!" Jack's scream ripped through the halls of the TARDIS, voice cracking and broken. Another kick to the ribs flipped the Doctor onto his back before Jack leaned down to grab the front of his shirt, the pistol shoved roughly between the Doctor's eyes.   
  
"I needed you, and you weren't there..." Jack felt the tears he thought he no longer had streaking his cheeks.  
  
The Doctor stared up at Jack, his eyes wide. He could feel the gun digging into his flesh. He felt bruised and battered and for one of the few times in his long life, he felt utterly helpless. Those eyes he saw staring into him...those eyes weren't the eyes of the Jack he knew. Darker...something inside had completely broken...and those eyes were calling for revenge. What could have possibly happened to send Jack over the edge like this?   
  
"I see it in your eyes, Doctor...confusion...hurt....fucking PITY...really, pity?" Jack backhanded the Doctor with the gun, the loud smack of metal against flesh echoing the control room. Jack still had his hold on the Doctor's shirt and didn't let him fall over.   
  
"I don't need your pity," Jack growled. "But I see the rest, too...the fear. You know, don't you?"   
  
The Doctor remained silent, turning his bruised face back to look at Jack. He could feel bruises all over him now, really. His ribs. The finger marks around his neck. His face, hit with a gun twice now. His hearts beat a bit faster , though he tried to control it.   
  
"You're afraid....because you know I can do it. You see it in my eyes, don't you?" Jack shook the Doctor when he remained silent and demanded, "Tell me!"  
  
"Yes," the Doctor finally said, gasping softly.  
  
Jack yanked the Doctor's face closer to his own, lips curled into a sneer. "I didn't hear you."   
  
"YES!" the Doctor cried out loudly.  
  
"Say it," Jack growled. "I want to hear you say it."  
  
"You can kill me. I see it, Jack. You would kill me," the Doctor said softly, voice hitching a bit.  
  
"Damn right."  
  
Jack straightened and stepped back, raising his pistol. He was about to speak when a blast hit him in the chest, sending him over the rail and to the floor below, laying dead on his back. Rory stepped out from a hall where he had been hidden, fingers coming back up to his hand to hide the barrel of the laser.   
  
"Oh no...oh nonono....no..." the Doctor's eyes panicked and he scrabbled the edge of the console with his hands, pulling himself to his feet. He winced, one arm holding his ribs as he leaned on the console.   
  
"Are you all right?" Rory moved over to the Doctor quickly.   
  
"Rory, you need to leave...you need to leave NOW..." the Doctor said, eyes on Rory. He was cursing himself inwardly for forgetting Rory had been asleep in the TARDIS.   
  
"I killed him, you're ok." Rory touched the Doctor's shoulder to steady him and stiffened at the sound of a pistol being cocked...right behind his head.  
  
"Surprise..." Jack said with a little smirk, eyes glinting and locked on target.   
  
The Doctor moved then, knocking into Rory and taking them both to the floor just as a shot rang out, right over their heads. It would have lodged right into the back of Rory's head had the Doctor not done anything.   
  
"But...but..I shot you..." Rory stared up at Jack from under the Doctor.  
  
"Yeah...again, surprise!" Jack laughed and stepped back, taking in the two on the floor. "Oh ho...Doctor, you have him locked away in case I ever came back? Sexy little number you got here...Captain Jack Harkness, you were?"  
  
"Jack..!"  
  
"What? Just saying hello..." Jack snickered softly. "Get up on your knees, both of you," he motioned with the gun.   
  
The Doctor moved off Rory, shooting him an apologetic look as he moved to kneel. Rory still looked a bit shell-shocked as he moved to kneel beside the Doctor, eyes on Jack.   
  
"Well if this isn't a dream come true," Jack grinned brightly at the two men now kneeling before him. "Two hot guys on their knees for me, and one of them is the Doctor..."  
  
Jack watched Rory look confused for a few seconds, then couldn't help the dark laughter that escaped his lips when Rory seemed to have caught on. He watched the other man's eyes widen and mouth drop open in surprise, face going a few shades lighter.  
  
"Ohh, there we go...looks like it's sunk in...and what's this, offering your mouth already?"   
  
Rory quickly snapped his mouth shut, eyes going a bit larger as he shot a quick look to the Doctor. The Doctor seemed equally pale, eyes still on Jack, trying to get it through his mind what Jack was doing, why Jack was doing it. He couldn't grasp it. Jack's eyes...they showed a man over the edge. Crazy but not quite complete in the transformation from sane to insane.   
  
The Doctor leaned forward slowly, hands coming down so he was on all fours. He moved closer to Jack, eyes on the man standing dominant over them. Jack's eyebrows rose a bit, watching the Doctor curiously but allowing the man to come closer. The Doctor settled back on his knees before Jack, hands raising and sliding slowly up Jack's thighs, causing a startled but pleased sigh to escape.  
  
"Doctor..." Jack murmured, looking down at the Doctor while keeping his gun trained on Rory.  
  
"This is what you want, isn't it? For a long time now, right Jack?"   
  
"Yes..." Jack murmured, a smirk on his lips, amused by the light tremor in the Doctor's voice.   
  
"Fine...do what you want...take it out on me...but let Rory go Jack, he doesn't even know you..."  
  
"NO! Doctor, you can't...he's out of his mind!"  
  
"So the brunette wants to stay...maybe he's...curious?" Jack snickered.  
  
"What?! No!"  
  
Jack grinned and avanced on Rory when there was a sudden sound at the door of the TARDIS. The lock was turning.  
  
"Don't tell me that stupid girl came back..."  
  
"Oh my god...Amy!" Rory's eyes widened a bit.   
  
The Doctor stared at the door, hoping it wasn`t Amy. He was sure Jack would kill her the minute she walked through that door. Jack had lost it. He seemed to be clinging to just a shred of himself, as the Doctor feared they'd be in far worse shape if Jack had completely lost himself.   
  
The TARDIS doors flew open, revealing a figure silhoutted against the sunlight from the outside, the figures hands hidden within pockets, a jacket pushed back behind the hands. A fimiliar stance. A familiar figure. And a look on the figure's face Jack had seen many, many times before...but never...never directed at him like that. No wonder the aliens went running.  
  
"Put down the gun, Jack," the 10th Doctor's voice was calm and cold, hard. Those eyes locked on Jack, mouth in a thin line.   
  
"How...." Jack stared between the man in the doorway and the man on his knees.   
  
"I think the better question here is why..." 10th stepped into the TARDIS slowly, eyes still locked on Jack, though glancing briefly towards his future self and Rory. "Lower the gun, Jack."  
  
Jack swallowed hard, staring between the two Doctors. The 10th noticed the gun hand lower a bit and he flicked his eyes towards the duo on the floor, inclining his head briefly towards the exit of the TARDIS. The 10th and 11th Doctors locked eyes and seemed to communicate silently.

"C'mon Rory," the 11th murmured, shifting away carefully. 

"Wh...who's...."

"Me," 11th answered, standing and helping Rory up.

"What?!"

"Hey!" Jack turned from the 10th when he noticed the other two standing. "Who said you can go?"

"I did," 10th said quietly, making his way up to Jack, eyes still on the man. 

Jack whipped his head back around and stared at the man, swallowing hard when those eyes locked with his. Very few things really scared him, but that look in the Doctor's eyes...HIS Doctor's eyes...that scared him. He simply nodded to the other Doctor and Rory, letting them hurry off and out of the TARDIS, the door clicking shut behind them. 

The Doctor moved closer to Jack, who took a nervous step back. Jack couldn't even bring himself to raise the gun against his Doctor. Jack continued backing up as the Doctor kept adancing, breath hitching when his ass bumped against the railing, preventing him from moving any further.

Those eyes seemed to pierce Jack's soul, his breath shuddering in his chest as he seemed to have no choice but to meet the Doctor's gaze. He felt stripped down in front of the Doctor. He felt...incredibly ashamed, hurt. Tears welled up in his eyes but refused to spill over. 

"You...you can't..." Jack's voice choked up. "You can't imagine...losing everyone around you you held dear..."

"Can't I?" the Doctor said softly. He stepped closer to Jack, hands coming up to cup Jack's cheeks gently. "You don't know the half of who I have lost, Jack. People I've had to leave behind to watch them die. Or have been stuck in other universes. Or can no longer remember who I am."

Jack swallowed hard, the tears spilling over his cheeks and the Doctor's fingers as those hands cupped his face. 

"You've never lost  everyone at once..."

"I'm so sorry, Jack..."

"Everyone..." Jack swallowed hard. "Except Gwen, but she doesn't matter...not compared to who I had...the man I loved died in my arms..."

"Jack.." the Doctor frowned, stroking Jack's cheek.

Jack took a shuddering breath and finally looked away from the Doctor. His shoulders started to shake nd he crossed his arms in front of his chest. The Doctor's hands moved from Jack's cheeks down to his shoulders. 

"Jack...what is it?"

Jack didn't answer. How could he admit his greatest shame to the man he had loved for so long before Ianto? The Doctor slid a hand around to cup the back of Jack's neck, leaning in and kissing Jack's forehead gently. 

Jack shattered. 

He brought his arms around the Doctor's waist, clutching tightly as he buried his face into the Doctor's shoulder, his own trembling as he forced himself not to break down into sobs. His fingers gripped the back of the Doctor's coat like a lifeline and he took in deep, ragged breaths trying to calm himself down. 

The Doctor frowned, never having seen Jack so broken. He stroked the back of Jack's neck, other arm around Jack's shoulders and holding the other man close, brows furrowed in worry. 

"I never expected to have to do anything like this..."

"Like what, Jack?"

Jack swallowed hard and took a deep breath, pulling away from the Doctor. The Doctor let him go reluctantly, but paused when Jack took his hand. Jack kept his head down but entwined their fingers, giving the Doctor's hand a squeeze. The Doctor squeezed back but said nothing, watching Jack carefully. 

"I can't even forgive myself for it, how can I possibly tell you?" Jack pulled his hand away and turned to face away from the Doctor and the control center of the TARDIS, resting his hands on the railing and staring at the wall. 

"Because I have done things," the Doctor said softly, stepping behind Jack, bringing his hands up to rest on Jack's shoulders. "Unforgivable things, unspeakable things."

"Ever killed your own grandson?"

The question hung in the air, Jack's voice cracking a bit. The Doctor's hands clenched a bit on Jack's shoulders before falling away.

"What?"

Jack's hands clenched into fists and slammed loudly against the railing before he turned to face the Doctor. 

"My own grandson," Jack seethed, nostrils flaring, that rage back in his eyes. "On top of everything else, losing everyone else....that wasn't enough. That wasn't fucking enough, I had to lose Steven too, and I had to be the one to kill him! To save this fucking planet, because WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?!"

The Doctor staggered as the words exploded out of Jack. He hadn't expected Jack's fist to accompany them and it sent him reeling back against the console. He didn't get the chance to move, eyes bulging and the breath forced from his lungs when Jack's fist drove into his stomach, doubling him over. 

"WHERE WERE YOU, DOCTOR?! WHEN THE EARTH NEEDED YOU, EARTH'S CHILDREN NEEDED YOU?! I NEEDED YOU!!" Jack's fists grabbed the Doctor's shirt, shoving him back against the console with each shouted question. Jack's face was wet with his tears. He shoved the Doctor against the console again, fist hitting against the Doctor's chest, though not with as much force as before. 

"I needed you," Jack choked out, losing the fight in him as he sank to his knees in front of the Doctor, gripping the man's blazer and sobbing into his shirt. 

The Doctor didn't once fight back, stunned. He felt blood trickling from his nose but did nothing about it. His long fingers tentatively brushed through Jack's hair when the man sank to his knees, trying to comfort him. The Doctor felt sick. Not at what Jack had done...at the fact Jack had no choice. The fact he hadn't been there. To be in that position...

"I am so....so sorry....so sorry..." the Doctor murmured. He shifted carefully and slid down to his knees in front of Jack, gathering the other man in his arms and hugging him tightly. 

"I watched him shake...." Jack clutched the Doctor, face buried into a bony shoulder. "Shake, and bleed....and DIE....and I did that..."

The Doctor rested a hand on the back of Jack's head, holding him closely, rocking them gently. His own eyes were wet at the grief and hurt Jack was feeling, at the pain he had to endure, the sacrifice. 

"I wish I had been here for you, I do," he murmured, continuing to rock Jack, stroking the back of his head tenderly. "But I'm here for you now...let it out..."

Jack clutched the Doctor more tightly, sobbing brokenly into the man's shoulder. He couldn't have done this with Gwen. The Doctor allowed it and said nothing more, just holding and rocking Jack gently. He wasn't going to tell Jack everything was ok. That it would be fine. It wasn't what Jack would want to hear. 

"You will get through this," the Doctor finally said, once Jack began to calm down. "You'll live with it, and come to terms with it. And in time, you'll forgive yourself." The Doctor moved a bit, bringing his hands to Jack's cheeks, turning those tearful, tortured eyes to meet his own. "But you'll never forget. And you never should. Many sacrifices were made. Yours...your team's...and his."

Jack swallowed hard, nodding a bit, leaning to the touch of the Doctor's hands when his tears were wiped away. Jack leaned in and kissed the Doctor's lips lightly in thanks, and felt a light warmth spread through him when he felt the Doctor return the kiss gently. He stood with the Doctor's help, following as the Doctor lead him out of the other Doctor's TARDIS. 

The 11th Doctor, along with Rory and Amy, were waiting off to the side. Rory and Amy were holding a newspaper, and the 11th Doctor's face softened when he saw his past self and Jack step outside. He moved forward, stopping before the pair. Jack's gaze moved, meeting the 11th Doctor's eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but the future Doctor shook his head. The bruising had already faded away. He just reached out and touched Jack's cheek, kissing the man's forehead tenderly before he moved around the pair, leading Rory and Amy into their TARDIS. 

"We forgive you," the 10th Doctor said gently, leading Jack to his own TARDIS. "I fogive you. You may not be able to forgive yourself yet...but I think you need to hear someone who does. Stay with me a while. I don't want to see you alone..."

Jack gave a small smile, turning and hugging the Doctor tightly.

"I'll go with you, but I don't think I can stay."

"Then I'll take you wherever you want to go."

Jack nodded and touched the Doctor's cheek gently. 

"Guess you were here when I needed you most," he murmured, smiling sadly.

The Doctor looked surprised and nodded, taking Jack's hand and drawing him into the TARDIS.

The 11th Doctor watched the door close behind them from his own TARDIS, Rory and Amy watching from behind him. 

"Will he be ok?" Rory asked, holding Amy close.

"He'll be fine, but it will take a long time."

"How do you know?"

The Doctor nodded towards the other TARDIS as it faded away with it's normal, pulsing sound. "Because that's my past."

"But...it just..."

The 11th Doctor gave a little smile. "Wibbly wobbly..."

"Right. Not a straight line. Got it," Amy said, shaking her head. Time could really be confusing sometimes. 

"So...um..." Rory began, looking at the Doctor. "Did...uh..anything....? You know..." he looked away, flushing.

The 11th Doctor just smiled a bit more and turned away, heading up to the console without answering. Rory and Amy exchanged looks and exchanged grins.

"Bet they did," Rory muttered.

Amy just laughed and closed the door. They had another adventure ahead of them.


End file.
